Who needs Hollywood when the real world is this entertaining? (Part 1)

I haven’t posted at all in awhile, things have been nuts.  I got a job, one that I can stay at until something better comes along, and I’m just exhausted.  Unfortunately I keep seeing stuff that looks hysterical so when I open my browser I have two dozen tabs waiting to be dismissed.  So I’ll fill y’all in on my personal life later, in the meantime here is some of the more entertaining news that I’ve seen lately.

  • It’s almost Thanksgiving. I don’t know how to explain how I feel about the holiday except to say that as much as I enjoy and love the 4th of July is how much I could do without Thanksgiving. Don’t get me wrong, I truly appreciate the meaning of the holiday, but the rest of it–the disastrous family scheduling, the elaborate preparations for a dinner that is eaten at 3pm, and so on–drives me crazy.  I don’t eat turkey, cranberry sauce, or stuffing which also makes things difficult.  For Pete’s sake, it is just a meal.  I would rather have a ham sandwich and be done with it.  Sorry, soapbox is away now.  That being said, I found that this was the perfect illustration of what you can do with the turkey.  Who knew that Cincinnati was the town that had the best perspective on the holiday, even if it originated in a WKRP episode.  Turkey bowling.  Even if you throw a gutter bird, at least you’ve tenderized the meat!!!
  • I love fish.  I love to eat fish, I love to watch fish, I love to go fish, I even just had raw fish for dinner.  Yet I have never seen a fish do this.  Evidently Otto the Octopus was annoyed by the fluorescent lighting above his tank.  The aquarium workers couldn’t figure out why the light kept going out.  Turns out Otto was bored during the off season, and had been using the bars as a jungle gym of sorts to hoist himself up and then shoot a jet of water at the light to make it short circuit.  This is, of course, after he had learned how to juggle hermit crabs to keep himself entertained.  That’s something I’d love to see in person.  Besides, squid doesn’t make great sushi.  Calamari, on the other hand . . . .
  • A cat that was missing for thirteen years was reunited with its owners thanks to the microchip that was implanted.  Now I’m no expert on the pet-finder chip, but it seems to me that is not an acceptable turn-around time.  And here’s another thing.  THIRTEEN YEARS!  I know that cats can live for a long time, but I would think that after 13 years it’s not quite the same cat.  Totally different animal!
  • Here’s a candidate for the stupidest 911 caller of the year.  A man reported a burglary in his own home. Upon arrival, the police noticed that there was something lying in plain view in the bedroom–a pot pipe.  Oh yeah, and ‘herbal accessories’ were in the living room.  Not only was the guy burgled, he was also arrested himself.
  • I realize that the economy currently means times are tough.  However, stealing communion wafers is a bit much for me.  And injuring an 82 and 61 year old, in my opinion, means that he should have to say quite a few Hail Marys.
  • Simultaneously, there is sometimes a point where your job can interfere with your personal life–like with this man, who arrested 48 of his relatives.  Talk about having issues at a family reunion!  I don’t know what their crimes were: minor, major, indiscreet, public drunkenness, who knows.  Still, that’s pretty drastic to send four dozen relatives to the clink at once.  Other family members were also upset: “The policeman’s sense of duty had inflamed his relatives, some of whom had taken turns threatening his parents, and had ‘even secretly cut off the tails and slashed the legs of their cows,’ the report said.”
  • (And this will be my only political one, I promise) VP elect Joe Biden has called Dick Chaney “the most dangerous vice president we’ve had probably in American history”.  Poor syntax aside, well, hee!  Cracked me up.  Interesting article about how he wants to make sure he has an active role in the administration, continuing the tradition of the last two VPs by keeping weekly meetings with POTUS to make sure that he is in the loop.  But he called Chaney out!  What a riot.  I’m anxious to see how he performs.

That’s all for tonight, stay tuned for tomorrow where there will be no more than one political posting and who knows–there might be an addition to the family!