You’re kidding, right? This actually made news?

Haven’t done one of these in awhile, so I figured it would be fun to do.  And what a wealth of information to choose from.  As usual, I’ll try to keep it to no more than ten news articles per post, but there might be multiple posts.  There are quite a lot of stupid people in this world, and I’m sure I’m one of them, but at least I haven’t made the headlines.  Yet.

  • Ah, the cost of beauty–especially in California.  This woman was unhappy with her personal appearance, so she visited a plastic surgeon and had a breast augmentation and liposuction.  It wasn’t until her $12,000+ bill went unpaid that the authorities were looking for her.  She turned herself into the authorities, and was released on a $20,000 bail.  The charges of grand theft, commercial burglary, and identity theft are pending, yet my question is this–wouldn’t it have been easier to take the $20K, pay your $12K bill, and still have money left over?
  • Remember in the early 1980s the uproar over RU486, the abortion pill or “morning after” pill?  It’s known now as Mifegyne or Mifepristone.  It still has controversy, but it also has some pratical uses.  Evidently the government installed owls and eagles aren’t enough in China to control the gerbil population, who are a major contributor to the desertification of the country.  Specially engineered pellets of this pharmaceutical are laid out to appear as food for the gerbils and have been shown to prevent productive reproduction and to end new pregnancies in gerbils.  What happens when some toddler who eats rocks finds one and eats it, will they be scarred for life?
  • I understand being annoyed with a man who has flirted with your wife.  Especially if it is ongoing or if the wife recriprocated.  And there have been times where we have all wished we had a job that would give us an advantage.  But this man cracked me up.  As a  public servant it is his duty to uphold the law as dictated by his state.  So what did he do?  Issued fake traffic tickets in order to target the  man unfairly.  He was caught, but there were no apologies to the man wronged.
  • We are constantly bombarded in the media with how to be healthier, eat healthier, live healthier.  How Americans are continually behind in the global race to health and happiness, and how we need to change our habits.  Then you have offerings like this one–a 4800 calorie hamburger being offered by a Michigan minor league ball park.  With “five beef patties, five slices of cheese, nearly a cup of chili and liberal doses of salsa and corn chips, all on an 8-inch sesame-seed bun” it’s enough to feed a family of four.  At least the salsa is low
  • I loved Life magazine.  When the weekly went dark ten years ago for a hiatus before coming back as a special mag/book it broke my heart.  The images were spectacular, and you never knew which ones were going to become iconic–the navy/nurse kiss in New York.  The fetus sucking his thumb.  The phone booth photo shown here.  It is this phone booth photo that was recently recreated by students at St. Mary’s.  They successfully stuffed 22 people in a phone booth to match the 50 year old event captured on film.  They failed, however, to match the record of 25 people in the tiny enclosure.  I have two questions on this: one, where did this idiotic practice come from; and two, where on earth did they find a full-sized phone booth still standing in America?
  • Here is an informal poll: What’s a code name for marijuana?  I can think of six or seven off the top of my head, but how many of you came up with “spinach” as an answer?  In the 1920’s and 1930’s, it was evidently a popular moniker.  And who knew that it was also touted as a super-strength substance?  It was around this time that Popeye was first introduced as a side character in a comic strip about Olive Oyl and her family, so it makes you think about why he was “strong to the finish”.  Well Popeye must be in seventh heaven if his preferred brand was Pacific Green.  A weigh station inspector noticed that several of the pallets contained cans that had no label, and upon further inspection discovered 1200 pounds of pot stuffed into the cans.
  • When I was a kid I remember my mother trying to find small items we had lost with the vacuum cleaner.  She’d pull out the canister, find a pair of ruined pantyhose and slip them over the hose, and start searching for things–contact lenses, monopoly pieces, earrings, you name it.  Dirt made it through the homemade “filter” but the small object was stuck on the pantyhose.  Somehow I don’t think that is how they clean house at the American Museum of Natural History, where they found a $15,000 gem in the vacuum cleaner bag.  An event guest had it fall out of her ring in December, and was thrilled to get the diamond back.
  • I liked school.  I liked school a lot.  I rarely missed school.  I may have been late to class on (many) more than one occasion, but I still liked school.  So did this kid.  So much so than when the six year old realized he had missed the bus he swiped the keys to his sleeping mother’s car and tried to drive himself to school.  He made it halfway there before wrecking the car.
  • This is just gross.  The woman with the Guinness record for longest fingernails has lost them in a car crash.  How on earth was she driving a car with a nail over two feet long?  For that matter, how did she zip her jeans? Tend to personal hygiene? Keep her cuticles trimmed?  Put in contacts?  Ugh.  Just gross.  Belongs in a carnival side show.
  • Those crazy cephalopods.  First there was the one that juggled.  Then the one that didn’t like his tank light.  Now we have these two.  First was Truman, who at over seven feet/30 pounds still managed to fit himself into his lunchbox.  Evidently the Aquarium likes the animals to work for their lunch by placing food inside a locked container for the “smart” animals to crack open.  “In this case, crabs were locked in a smaller box inside the bigger box, which is 14 inches per side. The impatient Truman bypassed the locks and squeezed his body through a 2-inch hole in the exterior box.”  A half hour later he slithered out, but never got to the smaller box with his food.  No wonder–if a seven foot animal can squeeze through a two inch hole he probably doesn’t have a lot of room to maneuver around, much less get the box OPEN.  Then there was the female in Santa Monica who was annoyed about being on display (or so that is my opinion).  When the aquarium coworkers came to work on Tuesday they found their offices flooded.  The little darling had gotten bored, turned a knob, and sent hundreds of gallons of water flooding through the facility.  No animals were harmed during the mishap, but the new ecologically friendly flooring may be damaged.

That’s ten, I’ll post more in a few days.  I have to clear these tabs out of my browser!!!

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