And I am another year older.
As my old college friend would say, whoopie-shit.
I know that sounds bad. I was thoroughly anticipating today to be a blase sort of day, where I would just be able to do my own thing. Once again I fell to the pressures of society/family/friends and did what they expected of me instead of what I should do.
I really need to get a spine, you know?
The day was rainy and cold, barely 40 degrees in the AM. I went to the movies, as they were only $1 to celebrate the opening of a new theater. Saw Taken, really excellent flick, with my mother. Downside was I got there 90 minutes early–in part because I thought it started at noon and not at 1230, and in part because with $1 movies in this economy if you don’t get there early you aren’t going to get a seat! That also meant an hour of small talk with my mom, which was fine, but for some reason it gave me a monster headache.
After I ran errands and came home because I was NOT feeling well. Sick to my stomach, actually, and not feeling like doing anything more than crawling into bed. Only then the phone rings, and rings, and rings. One of those rings was from a friend asking me to dinner. Cracked me up–4pm on my birthday she calls and tells me she and her husband are going out to eat and they figured I might as well join them. Doesn’t she see that is actually insulting for me? That for her to call and say “you might as well come along” isn’t exactly warm and welcoming? I know she doesn’t, that she truly wanted to go out, but still it irked me. I was still ill, and so I said to call back in 90 minutes to see if I could handle standing upright.
In the meantime, I tried to take a nap and rest. Didn’t work–damn phone. But one of those phone calls was from my brother, and we laughed like idiots over the phone for an hour. First over the card he sent me which had a photo that he thought looked like a cross between Grandma and Sitting Bull. I then had hysterical fits over how she would make Sitting Bull eat pie. Had us both crying. Boy said he had to look up the word ‘dank’ (I’d used it to describe the weather in a Facebook posting–for the record Webster’s has the definition as ‘unpleasantly moist or wet’) to make sure it was a real word. Had me laughing at him. Then for some reason I discovered he had never heard the ‘throw wads of wet toilet paper in the toilet while sitting on the edge of the tub’ story. Had him leaning over he was laughing so hard. So that was fun, we haven’t been able to talk like that in a long time.
Then B called again. I tried to tell her I felt like crap and then I got the big guilt trip over it, feeling like it was basically ‘the least you can do is join us’. Whatever. I so need a change of attitude there, and grace is the only way I’m going to get it. Horrible, I know. So I went to dinner. And basically other than a curt ‘how’s nana?’ it was about how their sister in law blew up at the parents, the new sister, the economy. etc. Safe subjects.
Nice evening, but all in all I’d rather have done laundry.
The kicker is I don’t feel older by more than just a day. Going to be weird saying that I am now 36, especially since I’ve said I’m 35 for about three years now. I’m just not ready to tell people I’m 40. (Told dad that, he said he wasn’t ready to have a daughter that was 40.)
That’s it. Another dreary, rainy birthday. Filled with me feeling sorry for myself and put out, but still a good day.
But let’s sum it up in one word: dank.