Big Bang Theory Quotes Part 1

It may be dweeby, but this show cracks me up.  And some nights, like tonight, there are lines that have me rolling over I’m laughing so hard.  So I’ve decided to start a running list of quotes from Big Bang Theory.  From the May 4 episode titled “The Classified Materials Turbulence”

Sheldon: For what it’s worth, my mother says that when we deceive for personal gain we make Jesus cry.

Wolowitz (with amazement): You don’t know what thing thing is?
Stuart/Comic Guy (looking befuddled): No
Wolowitz: Good. Get out!

Koothrappali: Oh get over yourself. It’s a high tech toilet.

Leonard: It must be hell inside your head.
Sheldon: At times.

Wolowitz: We gotta find a way using nothing but this to reinforce this so the waste material avoids the spinning turbine.
Koothrappali: You mean so it doesn’t hit the fan?

Sheldon: You know, I have to say I thought the toilet humor would get less funny with repetition.  Apparently there is no law of diminishing comedic returns with space poop.

Koothrappali:  Of course you feel terrible, you completely screwed up your karma dude!
Sheldon: You don’t really believe in that superstition, do you?
Raj: It’s not superstition, it’s practically Newtonian.  For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Leonard pretends to be a friend and acts like a two-faced bitch, therefore he is reborn as a banana slug.  It’s actually a very elegant system.  You know, what goes around comes around.
(Later, after Leonard delays a coffee run to knock on Penny’s door to ask how her date went and apologize for giving bad advice and is rebuffed) Raj: You really want to clean up your karma, go get my freakin’ latte.

Wolowitz: Sheldon, I know what I am doing.
Sheldon: If you knew what you were doing there wouldn’t be a space toilet where my coffee table should be.

Sheldon: That was a joke.  It’s funny, because it’s true.

Penny: What the hell was THAT?
Wolowitz: Meatloaf.
Leonard: What was it doing on the ceiling?!
Wolowitz: That’s classified.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Big Bang Theory Quotes Part 1

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s