You think your life has drama, and then you pick up the paper or find a story on the internet that changes your mind.  I love it when I run across these kinds of stories.  It makes the fact that I think my life is hard seem positively normal by comparison.  Take this guy for instance.  He was filmed getting freaky with a chicken on the New York subway.  They don’t know yet if it’s a hoax or for real, but I’m kinda hoping it’s real.  I mean, I love the guys over at Improv Everywhere, and at lest they have style.  For example, if you’re going to pull a subway prank, make it one with 5,000 people not wearing pants.  Go big or go home, you know?

So once again I started having fun finding weird stuff online.  Here are some of the good ones!

• I know that some people can’t cook with a darn, but I never heard of it clearing out City Hall before.  In Portland, Oregon, a mystery cook was trying to make breakfast but instead evacuated the building when he/she burned a bagel.  No one has stepped up to claim the charred breakfast food, but the Mayor’s office has issued an apology.
• If you can’t trust God, who can you trust?  A priest in Illinois was accused of shoplifting.  Does the Catholic Church pay so little that he really had to swipe a $3.22 container of butter and a $60 sofa cover?  Police also found a few other stolen items on his person and discovered he had swiped bar codes to pay less for other items.  Pretty sad when you can’t trust a priest.
• I’m all for prevention of animal cruelty.  I eat hamburgers and wear leather, but I think that there are circumstances that are able to be changed and should be, and the legislation that PETA has instigated is a good thing.  There is, however, an example of going too far: PETA is now demanding that Punxsutawney Phil be replaced with a robotic groundhog as they feel that subjecting a groundhog to lights and crowds is considered animal cruelty.  A robotic groundhog?  Really?  Of course, then again, the alternative is Snohomish Slew, a frog in Washington state that makes his own predictions on February 2–or as it’s known there, GroundFrog Day.
• And finally, those of you that need something to do in your spare time, try this: Cheeto portraits.  Seriously, who comes up with this stuff?  Here is one of Conan O’Brien.