You think your life has drama, and then you pick up the paper or find a story on the internet that changes your mind. I love it when I run across these kinds of stories. It makes the fact that I think my life is hard seem positively normal by comparison. Take this guy for instance. He was filmed getting freaky with a chicken on the New York subway. They don’t know yet if it’s a hoax or for real, but I’m kinda hoping it’s real. I mean, I love the guys over at Improv Everywhere, and at lest they have style. For example, if you’re going to pull a subway prank, make it one with 5,000 people not wearing pants. Go big or go home, you know?
So once again I started having fun finding weird stuff online. Here are some of the good ones! Continue reading
Here’s part two of the tabs I’ve had open for a week or more sharing bizarre and weird information that passes for noteworthy in today’s society. (I suppose I’m a part of that, seeing as how I actually READ this stuff, but there you go….)
- Evidently the key to winning Rock, Paper, Scissors is to not know which of the three you’re going to throw until the final nanosecond, as subtle arm cues can let your opponent know which of the three you are about to play. That philosophy is what led this guy to win a $20,000 scholarship to Syracuse. And for the record, paper won. My question, does the same hold for Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock?
- When I was in college there was a guy named Lee that I knew from BSU that got two speeding tickets in one day, at the same location, from the same cop, while driving to and from home to see his father on Father’s Day. I think this lady finally has him beat. Continue reading
Haven’t done one of these in awhile, so I figured it would be fun to do. And what a wealth of information to choose from. As usual, I’ll try to keep it to no more than ten news articles per post, but there might be multiple posts. There are quite a lot of stupid people in this world, and I’m sure I’m one of them, but at least I haven’t made the headlines. Yet.
- Ah, the cost of beauty–especially in California. This woman was unhappy with her personal appearance, so she visited a plastic surgeon and had a breast augmentation and liposuction. It wasn’t until her $12,000+ bill went unpaid that the authorities were looking for her. She turned herself into the authorities, and was released on a $20,000 bail. The charges of grand theft, commercial burglary, and identity theft are pending, yet my question is this–wouldn’t it have been easier to take the $20K, pay your $12K bill, and still have money left over?
- Remember in the early 1980s the uproar over RU486, Continue reading
Today was the inauguration of the 44th President of the United States. This year, more than any in my memory, people have very passionate feelings over what is to come for the next four years. My mother alone is driving me crazy with her cracks on the now-President and the disaster that his administration is going to bring. Others in places all over the world are crying with joy at how far this country has come.
My feeling (which I have expressed numerous times) on the matter is this: I don’t care who you voted for, as long as you voted. If you didn’t vote, then shut your yap. This afternoon summed it up perfectly: V called me and said “doesn’t today just make you proud to be an American and to be able to witness today?” then there was my mother who called me five minutes after and said “well we’re screwed for the next four years, today is just the beginning of the end.” Look, if you did vote, and you voted for the other party, then I’m sorry you lost. Even though you didn’t vote for him, however, Barack Obama is now the leader of this country. For no other reason than the fact that it is what the founders of this country demanded, the man deserves your respect and your support now that he is in office. I not saying I voted for him, I’m not saying I voted against him–in fact, my friend V and I made sure we each cancelled out the vote of the other as there were things about both candidates that we did/did not like. I wasn’t a big fan of George W., but he was my President and for that reason I respected him. I’ve been fairly careful to not come out with a soapbox and preach my political standings to the masses. Or the smaller crowds either, for that matter. Well, okay, maybe to just the dog. Truth of the matter is I think that Ronald McDonald could have won this as long as he was on the Democratic ticket, since the Republicans have been in the lead for the last eight years.
Enough of me blabbering about semantics. There were a few things thought that I thought were a riot, some thing that I thought were memorable (well, okay, all was memorable, but certain points), and I wanted to write about them so I didn’t forget them all. Continue reading
I realize that there are bargains to be had in retail establishments the day after Thanksgiving. I realize that there are sometimes people that are obnoxious about camping out to get the best deals. Personally, I feel that anything that requires me to wake up at 3am to stand outside for a few hours better have naked men or a championship bowl title attached to it. For the most part, though, people seemed to be cordial in the crowded aisles today. I had to go grocery shopping so I tried to hit Target at lunch, but it was a no-go. They need to a)open up all shopping lanes, and b)designate lines for Black Friday specials and the rest for the day-to-day ordinary shopper. What a mess. Thankfully, WalMart at 1130pm had no lines–just the night stockers to deal with.
But nothing excuses the behavior in these two examples. In Long Island, people were so anxious to get into a WalMart in the wee hours of morning that they trampled down the door and several people along with it. An eight month pregnant woman is in the hospital, and a WalMart employee died from wounds sustained in the event. He was 34 years old, and all he was doing was trying to open the doors for business. People ran right on top of him and refused to leave the store when told someone had died.
Not to be outdone, two men were killed at a Palm Desert, California, Toys-R-Us later this morning. I don’t know what kind of parent is carrying a gun into a toy store, much less what would provoke shots to be fired. But for two people to die? Over something like a Dora the Explorer doll or some other such nonsense? I don’t understand.
As for me, I’ll brave the crowds when absolutely necessary. In the meantime, I’m sticking to Amazon. Delivers straight to the house and someone else has to deal with the traffic. Works for me! In the meantime, my thoughts are with the Black Friday tragedy families. What a way to remember the holiday.
The continuation of last night’s posting:
- There are some sick, sick people out there. Now, I know that there are those that greatly support plastic surgery and sing its praises for whatever purpose they chose while going under the knife. Then you have people like the catlady or Joan Rivers who are obviously obsessed. Neither one of them can top this woman, however, who was so addicted to face lifts that over the past 20 years she had dozens and dozens of surgeries. When they wouldn’t operate any longer, she injected her own face with cooking oil. Aside from the fact that she could be her own fondue source, let me just say . . . ewww. Gross.
- Can we chalk this one up to senility? Dementia? There has to be some sort of external explanation. Continue reading
I haven’t posted at all in awhile, things have been nuts. I got a job, one that I can stay at until something better comes along, and I’m just exhausted. Unfortunately I keep seeing stuff that looks hysterical so when I open my browser I have two dozen tabs waiting to be dismissed. So I’ll fill y’all in on my personal life later, in the meantime here is some of the more entertaining news that I’ve seen lately.
- It’s almost Thanksgiving. I don’t know how to explain how I feel about the holiday except to say that as much as I enjoy and love the 4th of July is how much I could do without Thanksgiving. Don’t get me wrong, I truly appreciate the meaning of the holiday, but the rest of it–the disastrous family scheduling, the elaborate preparations for a dinner that is eaten at 3pm, and so on–drives me crazy. I don’t eat turkey, cranberry sauce, or stuffing which also makes things difficult. For Pete’s sake, it is just a meal. I would rather have a ham sandwich and be done with it. Sorry, soapbox is away now. That being said, I found that this was the perfect illustration of what you can do with the turkey. Who knew that Cincinnati was the town that had the best perspective on the holiday, even if it originated in a WKRP episode. Turkey bowling. Even if you throw a gutter bird, at least you’ve tenderized the meat!!!
I love fish. I love to eat fish, I love to watch fish, I love to go fish, I even just had raw fish for dinner. Yet I have never seen a fish do this
. Evidently Otto the Octopus was annoyed by the fluorescent lighting above his tank. The aquarium workers couldn’t figure out why the light kept going out. Turns out Otto was bored during the off season, and had been using the bars as a jungle gym of sorts to hoist himself up and then shoot a jet of water at the light to make it short circuit. This is, of course, after he had learned how to juggle hermit crabs to keep himself entertained. That’s something I’d love to see in person. Besides, squid doesn’t make great sushi. Calamari, on the other hand . . . .
- A cat that was missing for thirteen years was reunited with its owners thanks to the microchip that was implanted. Now I’m no expert on the pet-finder chip, but it seems to me that is not an acceptable turn-around time. And here’s another thing. THIRTEEN YEARS! I know that cats can live for a long time, but I would think that after 13 years it’s not quite the same cat. Totally different animal!
- Here’s a candidate for the stupidest 911 caller of the year. A man reported a burglary in his own home. Upon arrival, the police noticed that there was something lying in plain view in the bedroom–a pot pipe. Oh yeah, and ‘herbal accessories’ were in the living room. Not only was the guy burgled, he was also arrested himself.
- I realize that the economy currently means times are tough. However, stealing communion wafers is a bit much for me. And injuring an 82 and 61 year old, in my opinion, means that he should have to say quite a few Hail Marys.
- Simultaneously, there is sometimes a point where your job can interfere with your personal life–like with this man, who arrested 48 of his relatives. Talk about having issues at a family reunion! I don’t know what their crimes were: minor, major, indiscreet, public drunkenness, who knows. Still, that’s pretty drastic to send four dozen relatives to the clink at once. Other family members were also upset: “The policeman’s sense of duty had inflamed his relatives, some of whom had taken turns threatening his parents, and had ‘even secretly cut off the tails and slashed the legs of their cows,’ the report said.”
- (And this will be my only political one, I promise) VP elect Joe Biden has called Dick Chaney “the most dangerous vice president we’ve had probably in American history”. Poor syntax aside, well, hee! Cracked me up. Interesting article about how he wants to make sure he has an active role in the administration, continuing the tradition of the last two VPs by keeping weekly meetings with POTUS to make sure that he is in the loop. But he called Chaney out! What a riot. I’m anxious to see how he performs.
That’s all for tonight, stay tuned for tomorrow where there will be no more than one political posting and who knows–there might be an addition to the family!
It’s been awhile, so it’s time again for the things that I found interesting online today!
- Oh how I wish I had been there! I love Prosecco, it’s one of my favorite wines. Today I found a news article that shows I’m not the only one, as a plumbing mistake turned water into wine during a public celebration in Marino, Italy. Evidently during the town’s Sagra dell’ Uva, or Grape Festival, there is a point when sparkling white wine flows from the fountains in the main square. But this year locals and tourists were surprised to receive water instead of wine as a mistake by the plumbers meant the wine was switched to local homes. How many people do you think managed to stock up before they festival officials alerted the local town magistrates???
This one from my brother. It is just so unthinkable that I have a hard time comprehending it. (Or, as he said, it’s a pain in the Continue reading
This just in from the Associated Press: Barack Obama’s race might be a deciding factor in this November’s election.
Ya’ think?! Cracked me up. Like it has never been noticed until now. It’s a new discovery! Barack Obama is not 100% Caucasian male!
When I first saw the article title I thought it was going to be a Dave Barry-esque slam on today’s voters and how something so trivial serves as the deciding factor rather than the actual politics. But now, it’s legit. Here is the article in its entirety, just so I can go back and laugh whenever I want a chuckle over the intellectual shortcomings of American voters:
Sometimes I think that my life is absurd. That things just aren’t right. That there just couldn’t be anyone else that has this much of a soap opera of a life.
And then I read the newspapers. I mean, good grief, my life is downright boring. Family dysfunction, unemployment, life in general is nothing compared to how things are going around the world. There are some truly messed up things going on out there. The apathy and ignorance shown by society is a hoot. Here are a few things that caught my eye. Some are hilarious, some are sad, some are historic, some are just interesting. I stuck to my no more than ten rule, but I’m afraid that one of them is a bit long. Enjoy reading:
- Roger Ebert has long been an icon in the entertainment industry. With his original partner, Gene Siskel, the two could make or break a movie based on a simple hand movement. With the recent revamping of their TV showAt the Movies, both Ebert and Siskel’s replacement, Richard Roeper have voluntarily decided to leave. Ebert wrote a wonderful eulogy of sorts for the show, and you can read his bittersweet farewell here.
- I cannot believe that Continue reading
Okay, here’s some more stuff that I just think is worth mentioning. To continue from yesterday:
- How is it that I have never heard of this woman before? Irena Sendler saved 2500 children from the Warsaw Ghetto in 1942-1943. A teacher thought that the number was actually a typo, and four high school girls–Megan Stewart, Elizabeth Cambers, and Jessica Shelton, and Sabrina Coons–did their research to see if it was correct for a school project. Not only is the number accurate, it is probably grossly underreported. The four girls wrote a play about it called Life in a Jar, so named because Sendler was part of a group that smuggled children out of the concentration/work camps and gave them to others to raise under a pseudonym. In the hopes of reuniting the children with their families someday Sendler wrote their true name on a slip of paper, stuck it in a jar, and buried the jar in a neighbor’s garden. She was captured by the Germans and imprisoned for awhile herself until a guard accepted a bribe from her partners-in-arms and helped her get free. Continue reading
So there have been some weird reports of things going on lately. I don’t understand how this kind of stuff gets more air time than the TWO WARS that we are currently participating in, but hey I don’t write the news I just convey the wacko stuff to the general public.
One note: I think I can oh so easily go overboard. So here’s my new self-imposed rule: No more than ten news items at a time. So here we go! Wacko news items and then a few interesting articles that I found recently as well.
- You know anytime I see anything with the Muppets I have to pass it along. So here is the obligatory posting. Did you ever wonder where your favorite characters come from? This article reveals it all. Who knew that Animal was based on Keith Moon. Well, maybe. Then again, who cares. They’re just so much fun. Here‘s another video of Sam the Eagle trying to be patriotic with backup support. Watching Animal say na-na-na-na na-na-na-na na-na-na-na na-na-na-na cracked me up.
- Wal-Mart is taking over America. Well, all but the southeastern part of Oregon. Here is video proof. Continue reading
Over the last week, there have been some things that made me stop and think. Think about what we are doing to our planet, think about how we are losing so many of our natural resources, thinking about how I really don’t care who Jennifer Aniston is dating or what café they have eaten at lately. Here are some of the ones that, for whatever reason, caught my eye:
- In my mind, money is money. I know people that laugh at those that collect change in a jar, but I’m here to say that that aforementioned jar has allowed me to pay my electric bill or buy milk in the past, so I say money is money be it a penny or a $100 bill. Evidently this man feels the same way I do. He tried to prepay for his gas, and he only wanted $10 worth. Granted, he was trying to pay in pennies, but what’s wrong with that? The article doesn’t say if it was pre-rolled or not, something I probably would have done in advance to make it easier, but it certainly wasn’t worth calling the police in and reporting the man as abusive and hostile. If gas prices there are as bad as they are in the rest of the world, what’s wrong with putting the copper Abe Lincoln to use rather than having them sit around in an old jar somewhere? Continue reading
You know, there are legitimate news stories. Sad, happy, scary, serious, trivial . . . but legitimate. News, sports, entertainment, weather, culture, international . . . also legitimate. Tim Russert died. Floodwaters in Iowa. Wildfires throughout the country. All legitimate.
Then there is the other news. The stuff that I just don’t believe is considered worthy of headlines, yet various websites and news services deem noteworthy. These are some of the examples:
- In Genoa, Italy a man kidnapped his ex girlfriend. Yes that is a crime. I get that. He was mad at her for leaving him, so he kidnapped her. The motivation behind it is what cracks me up–he needed someone to iron his clothes and do the dishes.
- A man in Singapore was arrested for molesting 23 women in 15 months. He is to serve 14 years in jail and receive 18 strokes of the cane (Caning on the buttocks is an additional punishment for male criminals in Singapore for offenses ranging from vandalism to illegal possession of drugs and rape). Again, molestation is a legitimate crime and deserves harsh punishment. But he did not sexually molest these women. He was convicted for sniffing their armpits. He received such a harsh sentence because of the extreme likelihood that he may repeat the crime. Hey, you never know. He might work for Secret–it’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman, remember? Continue reading
It’s been awhile since I have done this, so I figured why not. Here’s a summary of some of the more offbeat, underreported items that I found of interest.
- An Indiana eighth grader won the Scripps National Spelling Bee by spelling the word guerdon, which ironically means reward. My favorite moment came in an earlier round, however, where he was given the word numnah, which is the blanket that goes between the saddle and the horse. But it is hard to hear, and the poor boy thought the word he was given was numbnut. With a look of incredulity on his face he repeated it to the judge and the crowd went nuts. Upon finding out that it was indeed a different word, his response was “well that’s a relief”.
- Rush hour traffic outside of Chicago, Illinois was lagging two weeks ago because a tractor trailer overturned and spilled its cargo over the interstate. Two lanes were closed while officials tried to clean up the mess. The cargo? Fourteen tons of double stuff Oreo cookies. Continue reading